..A soulsearcher..

Blogging?? I blog to tell what I feel....to have every sentiment of mine bought forward in words or verses. I am a frustrated little soul that cannot shut-up when any emotion passes through my life.




There will be some thought or the other bugging me. It could range from anything to everything....a friend could say something mean just for FUN!! but for me it would hurt a million times over or to something as minute as the different shades of a car. Weird huh! Life is too short they say, to muse over trivial things but my brain functions in the default mode where I have to think and think and over-think about any situation a hundred times over.

For example, three days before I traveled to my sisters wedding I sat and thought about the one thought that kept nagging me. I had suddenly started to feel like as though I had lost my sister, I had a big problem with sharing her with someone else permanently. I mean she was MY sister!! wasn't she??? Sigh....so i kept my head wound up about the fact that she could not be shared at any cost....whatsoever....

I started to dream about the wedding....about seeing her off... and then sitting in our room feeling all lonely....I felt that sense of loss when I could not attend the engagement function...but this time I was in class.....i had this absolutely bloated face which was bound to burst into tears any minute....the thoughts in my head did not subside till I sat on my flight to Mangalore......it was then that it hit me that she was just going to marry her boyfriend and live 5 minutes away from my actually house in Mangalore and I am ALWAYS welcome to see her face.....even if it was 1am in the freaking night. It was like living in two different rooms.....there....that was when the tube light flickered! A sense of hope huh!!

The journey for me till i reached my epiphany was very painful. I never thought and maybe never will think that I could, would or will ever loose my sister to my jiju not  even in a million years.